Oct 27 2009
Jellyfish bad day.
I just got this in an email from a dear friend. This was written by a fellow who works as a diver on an oil rig, the rest is self-explanatory. I didn’t have a jellyfish bad day but had the rug pulled out from under me again. This time, I was more or less prepared for it. The ex and I had finally agreed the night before on a price that he would pay me to take over ownership of the still jointly owned home in CT. Last I heard, he’d called the bank and had the loan paperwork being processed. This morning, he said “never mind.” Damn, I knew it was too good to be true but would have been so nice.
The good news is, about 3 hours ago, I had a phone call from Senator Bennet’s office. Seems they are going to look into my loan modification fiasco. Fingers crossed, perhaps the good Senator will have more luck with US Bank than I had. I’d hoped that eventually the squeaky wheel approach would get some attention. Now, I have to pray that Senator Bennet is able to really be of some assistance. If you wouldn’t mind sending me some positive vibes..they be appreciated!
On to the email from the diver.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad day at the office. I know you’ve been feeling down lately at work,
so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize
it’s not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with
a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the
bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It’s a wet suit. This
time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is
this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea It
heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I’ve used it several times
with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
This floods my whole suit with warm water. It’s like working in a
Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.
This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to
burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In
agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked
up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don’t have any
hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn’t stick to it, however, the
crack of my ass was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding
the jellyfish into the crack of my ass.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I
aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin
my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was
wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water,
the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a
tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the
chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn’t shit for two days
because my ass was swollen shut.
So, next time you’re having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass. Now
repeat to yourself, ‘I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.’
Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day! !!!!
Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.
